Goodbye, Kitties

Yesterday, Justin took our cat, Hannah, to the vet to get her spayed. We brought her home & she died last night. We're not sure why. She was "Jarod's cat" & he is simply devastated. We've had her since Micah was a baby.......over 7 yrs. During that time, I've had 3 more babies & have become less of a "cat-person". However, I was fond of her & used to her & am sad that she is gone. But my biggest pain comes from watching Jarod suffer. He is truly hurting. I know this is something that he has to go through, that it's a part of life. I know it's just the beginning of sad and happy things to come in his life. In a way, it's a "letting-go" thing for me because I know that I cannot protect him from this or stop him from feeling the pain he feels. I've been through this before with Seth with other pets that have come in & out of our lives. Having dealt with this before doesn't make it any easier to watch. No one told me being a mom would hurt so much sometimes. We rejoice when our children are happy & do well. We also suffer when they suffer. It seems like my heart & my life & my every breath revolves around if my children are happy & healthy or not. It only takes a minute of seeing my child suffer to rip my heart out of my chest. We had a little funeral last night. The kids had the option of saying "goodbye" to her, before Justin laid her in the ground. Jarod did not want to see her dead, so he said goodbye from a distance, with Daddy holding him tight. Afterwards, Justin & I both held him until his crying had subsided. Seth also held him & told him that he would share Scout with him (Scout is "Seth's dog"). Then (ironically) we played a nice game of Killer Bunnies to take his mind off of things for a while. :-) I spent part of the night snuggling him in his bed, which I haven't needed to do in a LONG time. My GIANT 9 yr old who is trying so hard to NOT need his momma anymore...............needed me last night. We talked & prayed. I was able to share with him that, even though we don't always know WHY God lets bad things happen, we DO know that he sees EVERY tear we cry, that He loves us so much & that He is hurting WITH us. He is THERE.

Today, Micah gave Jarod his stuffed kitty to snuggle, while Pink Panther (watchin' TV here) produced some smiles. Micah is a big comfort to his buddy.

Sadly, a couple days ago, we finally let go of Hannah's last kitty. Seth was getting attached to him & was calling him "Mo" (short for Moses). However, he knew we couldn't keep him, so he was prepared. He also has a very close bond with Scout, which is helpful. Still, he's a little sad as well. If I'd known what would happen with Hannah, I would have kept Mo.

On a happier note, last Friday I threw a birthday party for Seth & invited some of his friends. There was fun with a stun gun (don't ask), a Monster-shot incident (again..........don't ask), loud music, a rousing game of Killer Bunnies, WAYYYYYY too many kids & a migraine. So, in other words, it was a HUGE SUCCESS & I am officially a "cool mom". I really WISH I had remembered to take pictures. It was his 13th birthday, after all. I don't know what was wrong with me!!! Happy birthday anyway, Seth! I love you, I'm SO PROUD of you & I wish you would slow down on that growing-up thing you're so insistent on doing.