The Culprits

Saturday, November 20, 2010

"Please, Sir......." AAAAAAAAAaaaaaack!!!!!!

My cousin Andrew, and his family, pleasantly surprised me with a visit last night. They were traveling north to see other family for Thanksgiving & needed a warm bed for the night. I was incredibly happy to see them. The visit was super fun & special. However, I don't KNOW my cousin Andrew very well these days. We haven't spent much time together at all over the past 15 years. I, of course, wanted to impress him & his wife (Jessica) with how well-behaved, well-mannered & lovable my kids are. 

Well, a couple factors worked against me in my efforts to display the amazing accomplishments of my mothering skills. First, Justin's schedule has changed. We are no longer able to be night owls. We get up much earlier now, and TRY to go to bed much earlier than we used to. It's been a process, but we're getting there. My kids are no longer used to staying up till 1:00 am. We all know that when kids stay up waaaaayyyy past their bed-time, sometimes they get cranky. OTHER times, they get ridiculously SILLY..............and giggly.............and........gross (if they are boys). Once that train takes off, there is NO.....STOPPING.....IT. 

Another factor that worked against me was Justin's wonderful fathering. He has been spending so much quality time with the boys since he put the TVs out. He plays games with them & reads to them now, instead of watching TV with them. This past week they have been reading Oliver Twist. During story time a couple nights ago, the boys all took turns mimicking Oliver's famous line, "Please, sir. I want some more." Titus was able to perform a pretty good little English accent & we all got a little chuckle at how cute that was. Such an innocent, sweet 4 year old.

Back to last night. I let the boys stay up until my cousins arrived around 1:00 am. Way past their new bedtime. I opened the door & hugged Andrew. The boys, who were sitting calmly on the couch behaving themselves, said, "Hi." in very polite & well-mannered voices. It all went swimmingly. Andrew went back out to help his family to come in from the cold & bring in their bags. I went to the kitchen to muss around doing something or other. I heard giggling, snorting & what-not from the living room, but wasn't really paying attention to what was actually being said. I heard Andrew come back in, so I went to the living hear the words, "Please, sir......." coming from Titus.

I thought, "Oh cute! He's going to recite the line from 'Oliver Twist' and show how cultured & smart he is."

Instead, he said, "Please, sir. Your BUTT STINKS."

GASP. Shame. Mortification. Humiliation.

The boys all dissolved into hysterical giggles, as my face flushed. Andrew was a good sport & I heard him give a little chuckle. I quickly chided the boys; I told them to quit being nasty & to quiet down. But every time Andrew walked by to get more things from the car, they would repeat the horrible phrase & giggle even louder & more hysterically. I threatened them with various consequences & made hissing noises with my teeth....but the that train had left the station & was gaining speed. Chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Keep in mind, I haven't spent much time with my cousin & I just didn't know how he was taking this. Needless to say, I was VERY relieved when he threatened to fart on their heads.

The boys are now telling me that Titus didn't actually "Twist" that adorable line from Oliver. Apparently, it morphed from some Christian rock song in which someone was melodiously singing, "Sir, your breath" I don't know what is passing for "CHRISTIAN" and "MUSIC" these days.....but what is UP with THAT?????!!!!! Whatever Titus' inspiration, it did the same damage to my mothering-ego. *Sigh*

That one charming incident aside, it was a wonderful visit! They have a sweet little family. I LOVED seeing them & hope they come back we can have a belching contest!!!   

 Their youngest boy, Gage, "loving" the kitty.
He's almost the same age as Isaac, about 21 months.

                             The Lovely Raine, who is the same age as Gideon: 5 & in Kindergarten.

   Jessica, Me & Andrew: Is it just me, or do Andrew & I share a certain look? I think our smiles, cheek-bones & noses are well as the way our eyes scrintch up when we smile. Oh. And thank you, Jarod, for the bunny ears in the only picture that didn't turn out fuzzy. Stupid Iphone.  

                                                                    Jarod & Gage


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